I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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