Who wears a wallet chain?!
ugly people sure do ruin things
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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