My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
