Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
