He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
