STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
