She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
