is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
How does one acquire holy water?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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