If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
