I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
