Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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