Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
