We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
