just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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