Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
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