What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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