Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
So squirting runs in the family.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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