Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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