So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I looked at my own cervix.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
