i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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