Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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