My brain says no but my pants say off.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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