I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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