look no pants
worst night to have a conscience
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
