No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
