So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
