i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
