I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
