I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
