What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
