she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
