I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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