So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
