One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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