a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
