my soul wont recognize me after tonight
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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