Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
wrigley field is MILF paradise
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My feet surprised me
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