Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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