Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think people are normalizing furries
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
