this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
