Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
