I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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