great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
