glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
just come out here and I will go home with you...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
