So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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