you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
