Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I think your dad took our porno
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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