i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
