is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
