I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
