Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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