you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
