he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
