I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
