soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
