So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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