chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Randomize