how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
