Nicole vs. Life
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
