it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
